What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
