she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
