we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
