not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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