ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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