The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
