Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
