dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
