Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
