don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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