yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
