honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
