I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
