Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
