Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
