I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
