am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
