you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
