You really coming over, don't trick.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
