I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
