it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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