2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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