He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
