I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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