I have demons in me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
