I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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