Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
