Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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