What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
