I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
