I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
