i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
