I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
