I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
