I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
