Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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