So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
