problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
