And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
