its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
