you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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