i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
