i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
