Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
