Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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