...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
