i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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