Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
