What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
