Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
