So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have demons in me.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
