The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
